Friday, March 15, 2013

Boys Don’t Cry

A few days ago a conversation brought up some very old and painful memories from my childhood. The message I received was that “boys don’t cry!” If I began to cry in the presence of my father he would tell me, “If you don’t stop crying I will give you something to cry about.” That meant that his belt would come off and I would be beaten and then I would have something to cry about. I soon got the message that boys don’t cry.

It was quite another story if my sister cried. Father would try to comfort her. So it was ok and even expected that girls would cry but not boys. Is it any wonder that men today hold in their emotions? I was certainly not the only boy to be given the message that boys don’t cry. I think men still suffer from that message. I know that I do. If my emotions well up within me I subconsciously stifle the tears. I do not think it is healthy to  hold in your emotions all the time. 

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Requirements of Forgiveness

Love and forgiveness are quite different though it often takes a lot of love to forgive someone.

Forgiveness requires

1. A wrong done; 
2. Admission of guilt; 
3. Repentance by the wrong doer: 


4. Forgiveness by the one who was wronged.

This is why we confess our sins to God and repent. The word repent means to turn around - that is make a commitment to not do the sin again. This is a lot more than saying "I am sorry."

Repentance and Forgiveness restarts the relationship fresh.

Monday, March 11, 2013

About Our Girls

What have we, society that is, been doing to our girls?

Two news items caught my attention this week-end. The first was numerous interviews and critiques about a new book “Lean In” by Facebook’s chief operation officer Sheryl Sandberg. She points out that men who rise to the top are lauded for their positive aggressive behavior while women who do the same thing are put down for their positive aggressive behavior. It is mostly other women who critique them this way. The second item was about brain health that says that negative self thoughts damage the brain and causes depression which damages the brain even more.

I think we put our daughters in a double bind when we train them to think about themselves in a negative manner. It is mostly mothers who do this and has been passed down from generation to generation and this must stop. If our girls are to be successful in the business/professional world they must develop a positive can do attitude about them selves. It must start early when they are little girls and it start with parents – particularly with mothers.

My darling wife is a minister and I have noticed that when a woman is being considered as pastor it is mostly the women of the congregation who object. What is going on here in business and the church that women get upset by other women who are successful in what we use to think of as “a man’s world?” It is not just the occasional woman doing that but women in general. It seems to be female cultural conditionings that must be overcome o\if all women are to achieve success.

I want my daughters to be able to succeed in what ever they desire and I will give them positive reinforcement every chance I get. They are both intelligent, creative and capable women who do not need the negative self thoughts that our culture forces upon them.

What are we doing to our girls?