Monday, September 19, 2011

Taking It With Him

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of  his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife,
"When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready ! to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"
She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."
The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him." "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check.
If he can cash it, he can spend it!"

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Which Table?

There are times when we are at the tables of strangers and we move with caution. I remember when I first arrived in Louisville, I attended a Toastmasters club meeting but was so new I did not know which political party they belonged to.

I was seated beside a lady and she remarked, "Well the room is evenly divided today. Republicans on one side and Democrats on the other." 

As I did not know which was which, I said, "Which side are we on?" To which she replied, "The right side." 

A little flustered, I ask, "Where would a Libertarian sit?" She cracked a smile and said, "Outside!"