Saturday, November 14, 2009

Things Said in 1955

54 YEARS Ago
Funny…….yet sad…54 years ago..!!
Comments made in the year 1955! That’s only 54 years ago!
I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for $10.00..
Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long before $1,000 will only buy a used one.
If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit. 20 cents a pack is ridiculous.
Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter.
If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.
When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon.. Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage.
I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.
I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.
Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday they’ll be making more than the President.
I never thought I’d see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.
It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.
It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.
I’m afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.
The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.
There is no sense going on short trips anymore, for a weekend it costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.
No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $15 a day in the hospital, it’s too rich for my blood.’
If they think I’ll pay 30 cents for a hair cut, forget it.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Friday What?

If 10 fast food joints had stuck with the original plan

1. When Ben and Jerry decided to go into business, they really wanted to make bagels.
2. Glen Bell, the founder of Taco Bell (I had no idea the “Bell” represented a person, I’ll be honest), started his career in the fast food business with a meager hot dog stand.
3.  Tim Hortons’ Timbits actually started as hamburger joints?
4.  William Rosenberg’s plan was to deliver his Dunkin’ Donuts and coffee the way ice-cream trucks do.
5. Al Copeland, founder of Popeye’s Chicken originally started out selling donuts.  FYI: Popeyes is named for Popeye Doyle, a character in the filmThe French Connection.
6. Troy Smith, founder of Sonic started out with Troy’s Pan Full of Chicken in order to generate revenue to build a steakhouse.
7. Wilbur Hardee started out owning several inn-style restaurants.
8. Carl Karcher, founder of Carl’s Jr., started out with a hot dog stand.
9. Chick-fil-A started out as Dwarf Grill in Hapeville Georgia.  It’s still there but now as Dwarf House. They sell steakburgers there.
10. McDonald’s brothers Dick and Mac, started out as a hot dog stand in Monrovia California.  The McDonald’s brothers sold out to Ray Croc in 1954.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

A Funny In My Email

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there’s no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas .

Note: Please take time to read this slowly.
If you pay attention to the first two judges,
the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in  Texas know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the La Villita Plaza. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL .

Frank: ‘Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Lone Star Beer truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3.’
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2
 — Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) — Holy _____! what is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Judge # 1 — Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 – Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain.. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
Judge # 1 — Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 — A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. 
Judge # 1 — Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT … just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Judge # 1 — Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 — Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Judge # 1 — Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
Judge # 1 — A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 — Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing. It’s too painful. Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Judge # 1 — The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 – This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 — No report.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A Veterans Salute


Veterans Day is an annual American holiday honoring military veterans. Both a federal holiday and a state holiday in all states, it is usually observed on November 11. It is also celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other parts of the world, falling on November 11, the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I.

Unfortunately, in the recent past, the holiday had decreased in importance among many U.S. citizens. But increasing patriotism across the political spectrum, and the continuing participation of many Americans in wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, have resulted in recent years in greater observance of this important holiday.
As one veteran to another I salute you!Arms

Monday, November 9, 2009

On Being Humble

You and I can be straightaway reduced to begging for our supper and a place to lay our head. It is a very humble person who asks for help. Once you realize your need for help and have felt the gift - your own gifts can be shared in humility.
What can the gifts of one humble servant be worth? We sometimes say that my small effort will not make much difference. It was Dwight Moody who said, “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And that which I can do, by the grace of God, I will do.” We must know that God takes our gift and adds Grace, and that make the difference.
Slap Head
I think that the hardest time for me to be humble is when I am helping some one, to whom I could rightly say, “I told you so!”It is at these times that an old prayer, by Peter Marshall, comes to mind. “Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change.  And when we are right, make us easy to live with.”
How does that country western song go? “O Lord it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way.”
Big Grin
Well we may sometimes think so but if we were, we wouldn’t need Jesus and His gift of salvation. … And we do need it!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Back Home Again

My darling and I have returned home from a trip to western Kentucky. It was so nice to roam the land and enjoy the fall colors.
I have only two more Sunday’s to preach at Crestwood Christian Church - I am off next Sunday and the I preach on the 22nd and 29th.  Then I am back to full retirement.