Friday, May 14, 2010

Redneck Church ID




1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a 
chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if......
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000,
whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to 
catch'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if......
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the 
offering" and five guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if......
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if......
A member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't 
get out of" (Love it!)

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ......
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if......
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only
seven last names in the church directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.......
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too 
heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if......
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized " Wheeling " washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.........
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) 
Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ........
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a'56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if........
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duckcall.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .......
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .......
The communion wine is Boone's Farm "TickledPink."

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.......
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You  know You're in a Redneck Church if .....
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Yahear."
rotfl
God  Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Beholder's Eye


I know an elderly couple who are just so cute together. I say that in terms of how they act to one another because Mother Nature has not been kind to either of them in the aging process. Bent and disfigured bodies that just barely get around at a slow pace are evident. It is clear that they are deeply in love with each other and have been for decades.
 Hug Love
In her mind’s eye he still looks as he did when she met him at eighteen. She calls him “My good looking.” She looks at him with adoring eyes. He calls her beautiful all the time. She once looked at t a young woman and commented that she was not young an perky like that any more. He was honest and said. “No your not but you are beautiful.”
 Angel
Well they are both beautiful!Cloud Nine