I was sitting in my new office feeling enthusiastic about my new congregation. They all seemed like such wonderful people at the reception following worship on Sunday. So I was much surprised that a woman entered my office and began to ridicule everything I had done on Sunday. She was angry because I had changed so many things in the worship service.
As I listened I could feel the anger rising in me and felt the urge to respond in kind. I wanted to defend my self but the Holy Spirit reminded me of Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Well her harsh words were certainly stirring up anger in me. So that proverb is true.
I prayed silently as I listened to her. Listening to the spirit speak to me I spoke to her gently expressing concern for her feelings and understanding that I was indeed very different from the former pastor. It was an amazing transformation in her and a good lesson for me as a young pastor. The irate woman standing at my desk began to relax and simmer down. We talked our way through the first of many visits about how things should be done in church. Though we often disagreed anger was never a part of our discussions again.
I often think of that day as a reminder to myself of how much better it is to follow God’s word and wisdom than to say the first thing I think. Allowing angry words to escape our lips only escalates the anger in everyone involved. On the other hand, we will never regret speaking kindly to others.